#13 Wordiness (Fluff writing)

I was THE serial fluff (wordy) writer in my earlier writing days; if you have a look at the image below, the first sentence would be something I would regularly write; now as I read it, I want to rip my hair out! Writing is forever a learning process!


Wordiness or fluff my dear writers is another fault we tend to make, (usually in our first couple of drafts) because we want to make our writing sound very descriptive, or we want to showcase our vocabulary; whatever the case maybe the more clearer a sentence is, the more the reader will be engrossed in everything else. Depending on what you are writing, you can use the most simplest words to get your meaning across to the reader; and that doesn't make you any less of an intellectual person. Vocabulary is very good-- yes, but it has to be used in moderation, and there must be a purpose to why you are!

Remember the 'Show don't tell' rule? It applies very well and it is absolute KEY to eliminating wordiness in your stories-- and in your general writing.

Instead of writing something like:

"Jennifer walked slowly down the hill, tears flowing from her cheeks; forming small wet spots on her long pencil skirt; she didn't know what she wanted to do or where she was going."

You can write this:

"Jennifer walked slowly; tears flowing down her cheeks, dropping on to her long pencil skirt. Where she was going, she didn't know."

Can you see the difference?

You don't have to be overly descriptive, and overly foretelling; sometimes leave the imagination to the reader-- UNLESS there is a reason to it. For example, I took out the 'down the hill' part, I found it irrelevant; unless something is going to happen on the hill, or the hill has some type of significance, then by all means, keep that in, otherwise take it out. Wordiness can also be a way of 'filling in the gap' because we don't know what else to write-- if that's the case, read back at what you have already written and make another connection-- it's better to write one or two good sentences, than to write a paragraph of fluff!

The whole point of the sentence is to alert the reader that something has upset  'Jennifer' and has caused her to wander to the point that she doesn't even know where she will end up.
I've showed  that she is upset by mentioning 'tears' but not actually stating that 'she is upset'

Unless you have a purpose to your overuse of words (Your character is a serial wordy speaker.. etc ) or you want to show that a character is nervous or anxious-- because as human beings when we get frazzled, anxious, nervous. etc we tend to speak more than we normally do, right? Wordiness in itself is a tool, but it can be abused sometimes! But all in all, always stick to the 'show don't tell' rule, it's very enjoying to read, and to also be the creator of it is that much more fun.